| Sometimes
The pain swallows me
Courses through my veins
Settling in my heart
Like the memories of
Past drugs
That had gone terribly wrong
Sometimes
The flood of tears
Burns my cheeks
And the agony
Is all too familiar
As those heart-wrenching nights
Spent writhing on the floor
Sometimes
The loneliness
Engulfs me
Knowing that even though
He wants to understand
I still can't let him in
He knows more of me
Than anyone
But it's still not enough
Sometimes
The exhaustion overwhelms me
And my body fights to let it win
But my brain has better control
People wonder
Why I had reduced myself to a
Pathetic junkie
And even though I refuse to allow it again
Those moments of relief
However brief
Were the only release I had
From the overwhelming pain
And even though he's my drug now
Sometimes
I'm alone |
| |
| Why?
Why can't this be simpler?
Why can't I just make the pain go away?
I need someone
I can't be alone
And yet
Here I am
How does nobody
Understand me?
Why? |
| |
| I want to tell you
Who I am
What I've been through
The shit I've seen
But I can't
I love that
There's no sympathy
In your eyes
When you look at me
I love that
You don't think
I'm mental
I want you
To know me
But you can't
(You don't care enough
Anyways) |
| |
| I don't know
How much longer
I can keep this facade
Screaming on the inside
Laughing on the outside
I don't know
If I can keep from showing
The demons that haunt me
Torture me
Taunt me
I am weak
Exhausted
I need someone
Who can fight for me
With me
And yet
I trust no one
As soon as I let someone in
I run
At times I feel like
My wall is crumbling
And then it closes back up
And once again
I am alone inside
I am trapped between
Needing someone
And trusting no one |
| |
| I am
Lost again
Scared
And alone
The static
Drowns out everything
I can't
See straight
I can't
Think straight
And I'm constantly
Drowning my sorrows
In alcohol
My future
Is empty
My past
Is painful
And the present
Is far from
A gift
I thought I was getting
Better
Yet once again
The insanity
Is taking over
(It's ironic how
My words flow
The same way
I think
I never planned this)
I want to be free
Of this
Pain
That haunts me
I don't know how
To escape
The torment
Deep within me
I need an outlet
But the words evade me
I thought I'd be numb by now |
| |
